In the latest of a series of extremely fortunate parody interviews, Spankd Media is sitting down with Conservative Party Leadership runner up, Rishi Sunak.
Well I say sitting down, but in truth I’m stood and Rishi is slumped over a toilet bowl in the gents toilets of the Queen Elizabeth II Conference Centre in Westminster a couple of hours after the results were announced.
Froggy: Are you Ok over there sir? Do you need some assistance?
Rishi: fugg off ya bastard… you’re not having any of my White Lightning.
Froggy: Hey you’re Rishi Sunak aren’t you? Commiserations on the result earlier today. Why do you think you lost?
Rishi: Bastard bloody racists bloody voting innit mate.
Froggy: Do you need some tissue to clean yourself up with?
Rishi: Fugg off… yeah… maybe. Do you have any spare underwear? I think somebody has shit in mine, my wife will kill me.
Froggy: I expect your wife has been a great support to you through out your political career and especially so during there leadership elections?
Rishi: My wife said I cant go home if I don’t win, so thats why I’m a little tipsy…. celebrating innit mate.
I’m gonna get smashed and go to a strip club later if you want to come? You’re my best mate innit bruv.
Froggy: Maybe we can do a follow up interview when your feeling better?
Rishi: Aaaaaa gaaaaa do do do push pineapples up my bum
At this stage the interview broke down when Rishi passed out with his head in the toilet bowl.
Spankd Media have contacted Rishi Sunaks press officer to arrange a follow up interview, but they told us to piss off.